What is the driving force in your life? Most people will say positive keywords such as family, friends, love, and dreams. My driving force is strangely ‘anxiety.’ Anxiety always brings me a lot of worries and fears. When faced with a problem, I often imagine the worst situation. This negative imagination eats away at me and keeps me awake at night. Anxiety makes me do my best at every moment so that the negative imagination does not become a reality. Ironically, anxiety eventually made me a better person.
When I was a freshman, I was always anxious. The reason is that I could not adapt well to university life and wondered every day: What should I do from now on? Can I get a job in the future? Can I make my dream come true? I was trapped in anxiety every moment. The conclusion I came to was ‘doing something’ to prevent this anxiety from coming to reality. Although my major did not match me, I studied hard for high grades. Through various job explorations, I tried to discover what I wanted to do in the future. I also started several activities related to foreign languages to achieve my dream. At that time, I did my best every moment with anxiety. These actions caused by anxiety gradually made me adapt to university life. Furthermore, I finally had become the respectable person I’d always hoped for.
I realized that it was not my choice to do something. It was anxiety that made me ‘do something.’ If I was not anxious, would I have tried my best in every moment? It was possible because I lived with anxiety. Living in anxiety, I gained so much valuable experience and a better future. I want to express my gratitude to my long-time enemy and friend, anxiety.
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